Learning a language is a social activity. Think about it. Why would you sink time, money and frustration into such an activity if you had no intention of speaking it? Back in high school when Spanish and I were "an item" this was a little trickier. If I wanted to speak with native Spanish speakers I suppose I could have gone into Hartford or Springfield and hung around in bodegas until someone was willing to talk to me. My parents were appropriately suspicious of this idea. Once, my father brought me home a Spanish newspaper. I read it over and over again. And still…my grades in Spanish were not stellar. My Spanish practice was limited to talking to myself. I have always done this. I talk to myself all the time. I think this is because I process verbally and am an auditory learner. Or I need to have that little talk with my doctor...
When I decided to learn Russian I certainly saw it as an intellectual, solitary exercise. I struggled with the language without context. Conversation is the context. When I began to work with native speakers: real Russians, I now had a context and such fascinating conversations. I can get to that later…this installment is about the types of people you should try to surround yourself with if you want to make any progress in your language of choice. To be clear, before I get "comments" most people are a combination of these types. No one is ever one thing all the time. Remember, you as the English speaker fit into these categories as well.
The grammarian: While this person may drive you crazy at times you will learn to love them and value them.Think of this person as a favorite coach or teacher. The teacher who made you work extra hard for that extra point, the coach who demanded more from you than you knew you had in you. Because here is the basic truth about language study; Of course people can speak their language but that does not mean they understand it. This person can make you a little insane, they are rigorous, they are tough, but having someone who has a deep understanding of the grammar is invaluable. When you are wrong they will tell you but they will also explain why you are wrong. They will check everything you write and say with exacting detail. You need this. Do not anger these people, they are essential. Do not make off handed jokes or try to say something clever with these people (unless you have earned it). Now, this is not to say these people are humorless task masters. In fact when you do or say something right NO ONE is more thrilled then them. Remember it is not only a language you are studying but a culture and way of life. It deserves respect and care, and so do they. LISTEN TO THEM.
The "comrade": Ahhh Мой товарищ, говорит со мной! The comrade takes many forms but mostly these are the people who also care about grammar and pronunciation but also want you to speak the target language and often. In general these people care less about small mistakes but who will call you on the big ones. They also will explain the grammar and syntax and if they don't know they will ask (usually their spouse who paid closer attention in school to such things) or look it up and get back to you. Comrades also will want to practice English and will ask you questions. There is a real give and take with a comrade. From this person you get real sense that you are both in this together. They will also, like the grammarian, push you to speak often and correctly. In fact when feeling strong the comrade will simply shut off the English or in some cases claim to forget English altogether. A fun game to be sure, so learn how to beg in your target language.
The buddy: In general this type may or may not care if you speak in the target language at all. They want to practice English and learn about you and your culture. They will be very patient with your lack of grammar and vocabulary. However, be ready to teach them English: IN DETAIL WITH EXAMPLES. The buddy is fun, the buddy will be infinitely impressed by your feeble attempts and as you improve you will have a great time practicing with them. The buddy is a great person to practice with, there is less worry about mistakes but you may pick up some bad syntax habits because they may not always correct you. But you can fix those mistakes when you work with your grammarian.
Your 12 step sponsor: "Hello, I am Elizabeth and I am addicted to Cyrillic letters, noun declension and verbal aspects." "HELLO ELIZABETH!" At some point you will realize your little "hobby" has taken over your life. At some point you will feel like quitting but you keep getting pulled in. You may feel like the language is "out to get you", or somehow all the vocabulary you worked in has been sucked out of your brain by aliens. Here is where you need the 12 step sponsor. They have seen the same aliens because they sucked the vocabulary out of their brain last week. They are sorry that they accidently gave the aliens your address. This is the English speaker or speakers who are also addicted like you are. As great and as helpful as your native speakers are sometimes it is wonderful to talk with a fellow traveler. They get you, you understand each other. Most importantly they understand why you work and study as hard as you do. You hold each other's hand and cheer each other on.
In reality, everyone is cheering for you. Everyone is cheering for each other. Learning a language as an adult is not the same as when you were in school. You work at your own pace on your own time. You want them to succeed they want you to succeed. The dream is all of you sitting around a table moving effortlessly between two languages and two worlds telling family stories, sharing history, seeking greater understanding, and deepening friendships.
It takes a community and communities are stronger when they speak!
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