Мат? Нет, спасибо...

You remember the guy, and in all likelihood it was a guy, who sat in class the first week of Spanish, or French with the dictionary looking up all the dirty words? For all practical purposes I suppose looking up how to say assorted obscenities would be a good test of any bilingual dictionary. It conveys a sense of completeness and also power. "With this dictionary I can say ANYTHING!" And let's face it…dirty words are fun. Nothing conveys fluency like cursing in another language. When I tell people I am learning Russian frequently I am asked, "What bad words do you know?" I respond "none." Then I get the look that conveys "Is-that-not-the point- of- learning – another-language? " One cannot ignore the pull of wanting to know obscenities in another language. This is exemplified in the words of one of my favorite songs by the Russian group "Spleen" Англо-Русский Словар (English- Russian Dictionary):

Мой поезд едет в Стамбул - это cool!

Но денег нет на обед - это bad.

Кто мне покажет стриптиз - тому kiss,

А кто покажет кулак - тому #*&%!

Давай, лама, давай,

Давай открывай свой англо-русский словарь

 

My train is going to Istanbul - this is cool!
But there is no money for lunch - this is bad.
Who will show me a striptease - to kiss,
And who will fist - to #*&%!* (censorship mine…as I will explain)
Come on, Lama, come on,

Come on and open up your English- Russian dictionary.

 

First, my apologies to any readers who were offended by the preceding example, and for those who know me in my English language existence only, I am sure you are asking yourselves "why is Elizabeth apologizing for swearing? Have you talked to her for more than 10 minutes?" I plead guilty; I am not one of those people who avoids from "colorful" language when needed. Every year for Lent my family gently suggests I should give up some of my palate of expression in favor of less crude language. In my humble opinion, I am not that bad, but I appreciate their feedback on this topic. Studying Russian has done little to limit a possible string of obscenities that may, on occasion, spill out of my face. It is not as if I am the first student of Russian to break down in a stream of obscene language out of sheer frustration with the Russian case system, verbal aspect, pronouns or syntax.

However, I know for a fact that Russian has one of the most colorful, multilayered and intricate forms of bad language in the world. That being said, after two years it is clear to me I will never learn the art of cursing in Russian.

First, I have enough trouble with "regular Russian" no need to complicate it with profanity that I might say by accident. This is a real fear of mine. To see why, refer back to my blog post about my fear of speaking Russian at all.

Second, Russian is a language that values the following things perhaps more than most other world languages: Correct pronunciation, correct spelling, correct grammar and polite speech. This has been borne out by conversations with my beloved Russian teacher Mila- "Always use polite forms until instructed to do otherwise." I once used a "casual term" in a chat conversation to which my correspondent replied "Don't use that term, the only women who speak like that are prostitutes."

Third, unless you are raised in the culture and the language you really do not have a full appreciation for the strength of the words are you using. Genevra Gerhart's The Russian's World- life and language has a great way of talking about this particular concept. She writes;

    "…the basic words that are awful, obscene, taboo and mostly unprintable in Russian. Never ever use these words. They are not cute or funny, nor will you be if you say them."

She goes on the write that these words though commonly used in English in general are stronger and carry a stronger sense for Russians than for non Russian speakers who use them. "life," she continues "sometimes requires information we don't intend to use." For me this information is generally referred to as «мат», and for now I know about them but do not use them.

Another reason I have discovered seems related to my gender. This seems to extend to slang as well as obscenities. Because I generally work with men, it is simply not appropriate for me to use impolite, obscene or rude language with them. As far as my women friends are concerned I would honestly be too embarrassed to even ask them about these words for fear of offending. (Although, at least one has offered to give me a lesson in slang and «мат» when her family is not home.) I have no problem with this rule even though in my English speaking life I can certainly hold my own with men. But in my Russian speaking life I understand this is not appropriate. A few months ago I was speaking with another English speaker who is learning Russian and he was regaling me with a story about all the interesting slang he was learning from a Russian friend. I was a little jealous, however, I am secretly grateful that I am learning not only proper grammar and pronunciation but also to be well spoken. I do not begrudge my friend for being able to move in areas of the language I cannot. Идёт жизнь- So goes life. I don't make the rules and for now see no reason to break them. Perhaps some evening in Moscow over a long table conversation I will be let into this secret male society of slang and profanity. To be honest, I am fine with knowing about мат but not speaking it. Or as Chris remarked to me "I am grateful that you will be a perfect well spoken lady in at least one language, even if I have NO idea what you are saying."