Distracted, Attached and looking for the next hook

So where have I been…? Distracted, hooked and attached.

Distracted and attached the basic essence and problem of the human condition. Our society provides us with any number of distractions and attachments that prevent us from focusing on the one thing that is eternal. The mind. And thus helping the mind focus and allow us to act in a way that is the most true to our true selves, with kindness, compassion and love. To hippy dippy…? Let me break it down for you. (And be patient. I will make this relevant to language study.)

Let pretend we are pessimists. Most of us don’t have to pretend. A simple glance at our own lives whether, personal, social or political we can see a real mess and tangled web of suffering. If you have not seen it check your facebook newsfeed…go ahead…I will wait…

See?

It does not take much for us to see suffering or to be affected by it. To live is to suffer. As soon as we are born we are already in the process of dying. I have done a lot of thinking about suffering over the past eighteen months not just for myself; a lot of other people have had a lot of suffering in their lives. It just is.

If life is suffering why would anyone want to follow the Buddha or ascribe to Buddhist ideas? Like Jesus, the Buddha offers a way out of suffering and attachemnt. However, with both the Buddha and Jesus- it takes work. The payoff is liberation, freedom, joy and a unity with the ground of love. And no, this does not mean you walk around with a ridiculous smile on your face handing out daisies. ANY of my students will tell you I am not about developing a childish, saccharine faith. I am about developing an intentional, honest faith one you can live with real integrity.

So what is it that Buddhists believe about suffering and liberation? And how does this help with language study?

There is a wonderful movie called Little Buddha which if you have not seen you should. (Regardless of Chris Izaak being horribly miscast in this film.) It tells the life and enlightenment of the Buddha and explains a few important Buddhist principles. In one scene the old Lama explains the eternal mind this way: He takes a cup of tea and smashes the cup against the table breaking the cup and scattering the tea. He then asks “Where is the tea? Is it still tea?” It is still tea but the vessel holding the tea has changed. The tea is on the floor, table and in the towel. But it remains as tea. The only thing that is eternal is our mind and what we do with it, how we train it. The vessel that holds us now is not eternal and will change. We have the ability to guide how it will change or even what the next vessel will be, if we sufficiently detach ourselves.

When I wrote in the last blog post that it is the attachment we have to our language study causes suffering. At first this seems like a joke “OH woe is me…I am trying to speak Russian.” (boooo hooo) Well sadly if you have already made this decision and have been studying for more than a year you are well aware of what you signed up for. I am not talking about that kind of attachment because honestly, the people who are at that stage of study may stay or may drop out.

I am talking about the student who is in over two years, the one who scours iTunes for their favorite Russian bands (because now they have favorite Russian bands), their iPod language is set to “Russian”. They have native speakers on their Skype contact list and these speakers have become more than just contacts these are friends and comrades united for a common purpose, maybe even projects beyond grammar and pronunciation. They have applied Cyrillic stickers to every computer in the house. They may have even met some of their Russian friends and are actively planning to meet more. They carry books of Russian word puzzles around with them. They have flashcards held together with rubber bands all over their house, car and office. Their children are forever moving and organizing their grammars, readers and dictionaries into a pile they refer to as the “US Branch of the Moscow State Library”. They are attached because they have so much they have lost sight of what to do or where to start when they sit down to work. They are scattered and distracted.

The Tibetan teacher Pema Chodron writes about this in her book “Don’t bite the Hook”. We become attached to things when we react instead of acting in a more mindful way. The Tibetan word for this is shenpa it refers to that which hooks us. That enticing thing we see and we think that if we just grab it, this thing, this emotion, this event will bring us happiness. Instead we realize we have fallen for the attachment trap once again. Once trapped, we lash ourselves even tighter to the wheel of cyclical existence and suffering. Again and again and again we bite the hook and remain attached. So recognize that new language program, book, list of grammar exercises and website for what it is. It is a hook, bite it if you want but you will continue in your suffering and cyclical existence as a learner.

What the Russian learner in this case needs is to be liberated from the attachments of books, music and exercises. One thing the Russian learner needs is a native speaker who will speak Russian with them. Just speak, tell them a small story, clarify vocabulary, and reorder their disordered grammar. What the Russian learner needs to do is to breathe deep and listen and then open their mouth to engage. By the way this also works for the Russian speaker learning English. Letting go of the exercises and trusting that the grammar has stuck as well as it will for now is the first step toward liberation. However, it can be a frightful and often frustrating step.

The prayer of commitment in Buddhism is very simple. It is called the refuge prayer and it goes like this:

I take refuge in the Buddha the awakened one
I take refuge in the teaching (the dharma)
I take refuge in the community (sangha)

Perhaps we can also adapt this to language study. To at least take refuge in the grammar and vocabulary we have learned and to practice it with our community. If you have been working with a Russian speaker for longer than a year I would bet that at this point that is someone you can trust to help you with your goals. (And you also pledge to help them with theirs)

And as for the people I work with… clear some space and let’s talk. I am ready for a good story. I think we are both ready for liberation.