Вы должны изучить грамматику!/ You must study your grammar! Part 1

I can remember when I first diagramed a sentence. I was in 4^th grade. I remember the grammar book, it was small like the size of a paperback novel. It had a greenish cover and was published in 1960 something. I remember it because in my opinion it seemed strange to have such an old book small book text. I can even remember how comfortably it fit in my hand. In 1978, I sat in a hot classroom one spring afternoon and learned how to diagram a sentence. Our teacher described it as driving each part of speech into its parking space. We were supposed to learn about structure; subject, predicate, linking words, verbs prepositions, objects both direct and indirect. It was the ONLY formal lesson in English grammar I would have in school. The rest of my English education was in literature and creative writing.

Why? It was the 1970's a time of new educational theories some perhaps helpful some not. My math classes embraced "new math". I am still not sure what this is. I seemed to do as poorly in the "new math" as the old. We tried to learn the metric system because we were told, like the killer bees bred in Mexico and now which were attacking Texas; we would all be overtaken by this system. If were to function in the late 20^th century we needed to know the metric system. "Look, even Canada has metric!" Mrs. Cohelo my 5^th grade math teacher informed us one day. My father was opposed to this on principle. He saw the metric system as a communist plot to take over our way of life. When driving in Canada he would complain about the kilometer markings "I have NO idea where I am or how far I have to go! This is insanity!" In my father's defense he was a very progressive left leaning guy who would have enjoyed this little adventure of mine. My father was instead easily set off by things that he did not readily understand. If the remote to the TV was lost it was a plot. Nothing against Canada but they do speak French and have universal health care. Just saying…

But back to grammar:

I think the theory for not teaching formal grammar went something like this: The children need to be free to write and express themselves. The more they do this the more they will learn proper grammar. Or it was just about us expressing ourselves, to heck with grammar. Now that I think about it, let's go with the latter. I don't know why this was the way it was taught I just know that while my generation can sing the preamble to the constitution, know that 3 is a magic number, and a noun is person, place or thing (all of which we learned from Schoolhouse Rock in between our cartoons on Saturday morning.) we do not in general, do not know our grammar. This was a great disservice as I will illustrate as we fast forward to 1991. I tell this story every year to my students as a cautionary tale of what NOT to do and why grammar and careful writing is important.

In 1991 I was engrossed in a graduate program in theology at a school in the Boston area. (Yeah, that one.) I was in a class with a much respected professor and scholar in the book of Jeremiah. (Yeah, that guy!) My entire grade for the class consisted of two exams and a paper. I did reasonably well on the exams and so I plunged into the paper which was an exegesis on a passage from the Song of Songs. I wrote the paper and handed it in glad that my semester was now over and I had in fact survived my first year of graduate school in one piece. Then I got the call.

I was working in the school kitchen when the phone rang. Professor you- know- who was looking for me and wanted to meet with me at noon that day. I hung up the phone and looked to my older and wiser comrade and friend. "so…what is that about?" I asked him. "Well," he calmly replied in his calming yet slightly brimstone laden Tennessee drawl "Professor you-know-who is not calling to tell you he is submitting the paper to an academic journal. I bet it's the pencil grade." I had no idea what the pencil grade was. My friend did not tell me only said "OH…you'll find out. And good luck! I will find you later to see how it went." The pencil grade as I found out, a few hours later, was that Professor you-know-who had given me an "F" but it was written in pencil. I had exactly 4 days to submit a new paper or the "F" would stay.

Why after four years of a good university education had I merited a failing grade on this paper? It was explained by Professor you-know-who this way: "Ms. Mueller" (I was still Mueller then but only for a few more months) "do you want to know my theory of student research papers?" like I had a choice, I was a captive audience. "Ms. Mueller, I approach each paper as if you and I are going to spend a pleasant afternoon together. Perhaps, we are going on a picnic? Perhaps we are just going to drive someplace nice. In any case when we get there we are going to have a wonderful discussion about the topic you presented in this paper. That sounds nice…however if on the way to our picnic there are traffic accidents, dead animals, pot holes, natural disasters or it starts to rain, am I going to be interested in your ideas? Will I even want to talk about it when we get there? Or will I have become so distracted by the traffic accidents, dead animals, and natural disasters I will just want to go home. With most students we get out the driveway, down the road a way and there are some problems a little rain, a few dead raccoons, one accident maybe two. With you however, we did not make it out of the driveway." It was everything I could do to hold it together. I failed and did exactly what I promised I would not do. I cried. It was embarrassing. "Just rewrite the paper and have it in class on Tuesday." The accidents were mostly grammar errors. I had split infinitives, misplaced commas, and had spelling errors that would make Jesus himself cry. (It was part of the Sermon on the Mount "Blessed are the grammarians, for they shall be understood as they correct and lead others in the ways of righteous pronoun usage") I re wrote the paper and did reasonably well in the class. Then, like a true glutton for punishment, went on to take Hebrew with Professor you-know-who.

Ok, full disclosure. I was retaking Hebrew. I had failed it the first time. I had to take it to save my GPA. I was struggling, with the alphabet with the vowels especially. The grammar was killing me. Once in class, when I continued to misspell the same noun over and over again, Professor you-know-who said to me. "Ms. Mueller you have two fundamental problems with this language. First you seem to not believe that there is any discernable difference between a long "a" and short "a". I assure you they are different. Second, you simply do not understand the grammar in English. How on earth are you going to know what a direct object is in Hebrew if you do not know what a direct object is in English?" He was right.

While these experiences sound deeply traumatic, they were in fact great lessons. At the time I was studying for pastoral ministry. This is a very verbal profession. You speak with people, you write a sermon every week, and newsletters each month. Compassion and knowledge of theology and scripture is important but if you do not have effective skills to communicate it is going to a long road to retirement. Even though I did not go into formal ordained pastoral ministry these are important skills. This is the point I make to my students. You can have all the opinions and feelings you want, but if you cannot communicate them effectively, articulately and accurately you will be left behind. Good grammar is fundamental to this. Using good grammar is the hallmark of an intelligent and well educated person. It is in my experience fundamental if you want to study another language.

One Russian correspondent said to me, "I don't need to know grammar! Children when they learn to speak do not learn grammar." This idea that one can learn "natural speech" which is the theory behind programs like Rosetta Stone and websites like LiveMocha. There are some inherent problems with this especially for a language like Russian. This is not to say they do not have their place in the language learning repertoire. For practice they can be great resources. However, to not explain the grammar leaves the learner with the ability to say things but they do not know why you are saying them. This is particularly problematic with Russian. You have to know what a case is, in order to understand case you need to understand prepositions. If you ever want to use a verb eventually you will have to learn aspect. You then need to learn how certain verbs take certain cases. If you don't have an understanding of the grammar you continue to make the same mistakes and not really know why. In short, languages in general and Russian, in particular are built on their grammar. Without a working knowledge of the grammar you have set yourself up in an impossible and frustrating situation. So my answer to that young Russian was as follows: Yes children learn to speak naturally but then they grow up and go to school and in Russia, learn their case endings, proper aspect of verbs and pronunciation.

Of course to learn grammar in another language means you must know your own. The more you learn these concepts in your language and your target language the more proficient you will grow in both. This is true for speaking but especially for writing. This is a win/ win. Studying another language is an amazing opportunity to not only learn new skills in your target language but to increase proficiency in your own. This skill set includes all aspects of communication; speaking, writing and reading comprehension.

Learning grammar means you are "all in" you have cast your lot for better or worse with this target language and you are committed to learn it according to its rules. Remember, as the learner you are really at the mercy of the grammar anyway. It is not like you can speak Russian, Spanish, French, Greek or Japanese according to your rules. First of all no one will understand you, well they may understand you but you will not be putting your best foot forward in the target language. You must submit. Think of grammar like a more benevolent version of the Borg in Star Trek, or the Cybermen in Dr. Who. You must assimilate. Resistance is futile. Now HOW you do that…that is next week's topic.