A recent conversation with a Russian friend gave me this idea, and while I should be occupying myself with more important things this week. Like worrying about the retreat Wednesday I have instead choose to distract myself with this.
And open letter to the Russian and American governments:
Dear presidents Medvedev and Obama:
First of all I would like to congratulate each of you on your accomplishments, but I would like to give you both a suggestion that would make you both amazing superstars of history. I know this is a crazy idea but hear me out. How about you both commit to ending the Cold war? I mean it! Once and for all let’s work toward real reconciliation, cooperation and understanding. I mean it! And this is not impossible but it takes people with a willingness to do work toward these goals, people with an ability to listen and most importantly and I know this is not often heard in diplomatic circles but a sense of humor would not be a bad idea either.
So, I am willing to offer myself (and any other willing disciples) for this new post. How about we call it Department of Russo-American Outreach and Understanding or Office of Russo-American Friendship initiatives? I am just spit-balling here. I am sure you each have competent people to come up with names although notice how clever this blog title is..huh? huh? Not bad eh? See I am already on the path to international friendship and a new history of peace between our nations and people. American’s pride ourselves for being open minded and free thinking curious people- Except where Russia is concerned. This is one of the last acceptable prejudices in the US. It is time it was over.
In my opinion here is what we need to do. (I use “we” because OBVIOUSLY I should be in charge of this office for reasons that will be readily apparent as you read through this blog post.)
1) We need more Americans who can speak fluent Russian. So I am thinking in the near future some kind of initiative to include this along with Spanish, and French. I mean there are already some schools that offer Mandarin. Why not Russian? Here’s the thing America: Russian speakers start learning English in school. So for those who think this is some kind of Neo-Marxist plot to teach Russian here- it’s not, just smart! This is a language that needs an early start. Plus think about it, just the proposal will make Glen Beck’s head explode and while not a proponent of violence I think we can agree this is not a wholly unpleasant side effect.
2) This initiative begins with me of course. So I think my home should be a place of this cultural exchange. I propose that somewhere between 10-15 Russian citizens (and 1 citizen of Uzbekistan, and possibly 4 Ukrainians) be flown over here every summer for “cultural exchange and education”. We will provide English practice and age appropriate cultural experiences. These visits should last between 2-4 weeks. I call this “pie diplomacy” trust me it will work…We will at the least send back very happy Russians.
3) Furthermore and building on initiative #2. I think I should regularly be sent to Russia for about a year maybe less for cultural exchange and research purposes. I would like the US government to purchase an apartment for me in Moscow or nearby city, a monthly train pass and a reasonable salary. Being based in Russia would allow me to become one of the “fluent Russian speaking Americans” I was talking about in #1. But in addition I could learn so much about Russia, it’s people, history and culture and share these findings with the American people when I return. In fact I think I should get to bring a few Americans over every few week to help with the “research”. As a nation don’t you think we need to know more about Russia other than the fact Palin can see Russia from her house?? And here is the great part…you know those same Russians who came to the US? Well what if I visit them in Russia and see how they live. No complicated process we could in fact use the SAME people over and over for this cultural exchange. We can call this “pirog and vodka diplomacy.”
4) I have only one policy request: Ban figure skating from the Olympics. (I know you are thinking “WHAAAT???”but really I am not joking.) I am emotional person and unless you can guarantee a gold medal for Russia in 2014 I think we just take it out all together. Our nations will be better off for it. In all things the first time would be rough but trust me this will save us a world of hurt. You can get back to me on this.
So for now that’s the plan. Check back here to see if I have anything new to add. And check the comments perhaps there are some wise voices from the Russian world that may have ideas also. I am sure given all the work I have done online in the past two years I am glowing on some national security something. Call Dick Cheney I am sure he can help you track me down.
Hugs and kisses
Elizabeth
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
И потом она будет прыгать или она провалится (And then she will jump or she will fail)
This week's post is dedicated to Leonid, Andrey and Irina... Мои добросердечные друзья, у вас щедрые сердца!
Two years ago for my 40th birthday Chris gave me ten sessions of formal instruction in Russian. There were audible cheers from the Russian speaking world. I had no idea how awful and pathetic I was until I started this class. Ok I had some idea, but I was in deep, deep denial I had after all been attempting to speak Russian with Leonid and Irina for a few weeks. I thought I was making progress. I thought I was working. I was very wrong. And Leonid, Irina, and for what he was able to do Andrey also, were nice people who wanted to help me but honestly I think they were stumped also. Well, Andrey was not stumped. He had been putting me through my paces on noun declension for weeks. I got the idea but was still failing miserably.Every day he told me that "this was how Russian children learned it" and every day I proved beyond a doubt that all Russian children were smarter than me. I was starting to think he would in fact defenestrate himself in frustration.
I did not want blood on my hands or cause other forms of needless suffering for such nice people, so I started looking around for language schools. By pure chance I found a small school 30 minutes from my home. I called for an appointment. I told the woman on the phone that I had been working on my own for a few years but was really hoping formal classes could be helpful in helping me grow as a student and Russian speaker. She suggested I come in for an assessment and we would go from there. The assessment was a sad 45 minutes of me struggling to read the most basic words and having the instructor turn the pages back toward the beginning of the text book until I was practically reading the table of contents and the copyright information.
I could not read anything useful. I could not pronounce anything longer that three letters, and even most of those were incorrect. After I left that assessment session I had mixed feelings of depression, anxiety, failure and despondency. I felt as though I had wasted the past two years. It was truly disheartening. The woman who ran the school was a kind, French woman named Michelle. She had the most reassuring voice, someone who had encountered the midlife crisis language student before. She never said no to me. No one did. No one told me I was insane for wanting to do this, but she did ask in a voice that resembled Glenda the good witch from the film the Wizard of Oz “So, why do you want to study Russian?” (well Glenda, if she was from Paris.) As I explained my reasons, carefully laid, out she nodded in kind agreement. My instructions were to go home and discuss it with my husband and call her the next day to schedule a class. So a strange bit of hope emerged as I drove home. “Now I know. Now I will improve or it all ends here.”
So I made the decision, that I need this class. I am either going to really learn this or I am going to keep dabbling and not really make any kind of progress ever. For all the books and software you can purchase there is no substitute for a teacher and a class. There is also no substitute for practice and putting in the time every day to practice. Most people, while able to speak their native language often do know how it works. I was learning this was as much the case for me as it was for them. One of the dividends of this project is that I have learned more about the English language as I need to explain the finer point of grammar to my Russian friends. To be clear, I take the time to explain it whether they choose to use it is another story. If I had a dollar for every time one of my Russian friends tried to talk their way out of using definite articles I would own a lovely dacha by now. If I have to decline nouns and learn aspect of verbs they have to learn how to use “a,an & the”. But now it is time for me to get to work and either get serious or get out. I enroll for 10 weeks of classes, and prepare for ten of the most exciting and painful weeks since I did my clinical pastoral education in graduate school. This is going to hurt…and somewhere a Russian is smiling.
Two years ago for my 40th birthday Chris gave me ten sessions of formal instruction in Russian. There were audible cheers from the Russian speaking world. I had no idea how awful and pathetic I was until I started this class. Ok I had some idea, but I was in deep, deep denial I had after all been attempting to speak Russian with Leonid and Irina for a few weeks. I thought I was making progress. I thought I was working. I was very wrong. And Leonid, Irina, and for what he was able to do Andrey also, were nice people who wanted to help me but honestly I think they were stumped also. Well, Andrey was not stumped. He had been putting me through my paces on noun declension for weeks. I got the idea but was still failing miserably.Every day he told me that "this was how Russian children learned it" and every day I proved beyond a doubt that all Russian children were smarter than me. I was starting to think he would in fact defenestrate himself in frustration.
I did not want blood on my hands or cause other forms of needless suffering for such nice people, so I started looking around for language schools. By pure chance I found a small school 30 minutes from my home. I called for an appointment. I told the woman on the phone that I had been working on my own for a few years but was really hoping formal classes could be helpful in helping me grow as a student and Russian speaker. She suggested I come in for an assessment and we would go from there. The assessment was a sad 45 minutes of me struggling to read the most basic words and having the instructor turn the pages back toward the beginning of the text book until I was practically reading the table of contents and the copyright information.
I could not read anything useful. I could not pronounce anything longer that three letters, and even most of those were incorrect. After I left that assessment session I had mixed feelings of depression, anxiety, failure and despondency. I felt as though I had wasted the past two years. It was truly disheartening. The woman who ran the school was a kind, French woman named Michelle. She had the most reassuring voice, someone who had encountered the midlife crisis language student before. She never said no to me. No one did. No one told me I was insane for wanting to do this, but she did ask in a voice that resembled Glenda the good witch from the film the Wizard of Oz “So, why do you want to study Russian?” (well Glenda, if she was from Paris.) As I explained my reasons, carefully laid, out she nodded in kind agreement. My instructions were to go home and discuss it with my husband and call her the next day to schedule a class. So a strange bit of hope emerged as I drove home. “Now I know. Now I will improve or it all ends here.”
So I made the decision, that I need this class. I am either going to really learn this or I am going to keep dabbling and not really make any kind of progress ever. For all the books and software you can purchase there is no substitute for a teacher and a class. There is also no substitute for practice and putting in the time every day to practice. Most people, while able to speak their native language often do know how it works. I was learning this was as much the case for me as it was for them. One of the dividends of this project is that I have learned more about the English language as I need to explain the finer point of grammar to my Russian friends. To be clear, I take the time to explain it whether they choose to use it is another story. If I had a dollar for every time one of my Russian friends tried to talk their way out of using definite articles I would own a lovely dacha by now. If I have to decline nouns and learn aspect of verbs they have to learn how to use “a,an & the”. But now it is time for me to get to work and either get serious or get out. I enroll for 10 weeks of classes, and prepare for ten of the most exciting and painful weeks since I did my clinical pastoral education in graduate school. This is going to hurt…and somewhere a Russian is smiling.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
What it really takes...
Last Christmas I was in a large bookstore with my kids. I always scope out the language book section. I never find anything new and am always surprised how similar language instruction is to the books in the self help section. Everything is a magic bullet. If I were feeling optimist the teacher side of me would perhaps think the range of books and their assorted pedagogies were speaking to various learning styles. In reality you can spend a lot of money on books that are confusing at best or at worst completely useless. My son was looking at a book with the seductive title “Learn Russian in your car 5 minutes a Day”
“Hey mom! Look at this one. That’s not true…to learn Russian you need REAL Russians!”
Yes it really does take real Russians. I have wonderful real Russians now and they are invaluable teachers and friends but two years ago the question is was where to find them. And if I did find them would they be interested in speaking with me.
When I returned from our schools mission trip in 2008 I came across an article in the Boston paper about learning languages online. Apparently there were websites, free websites, where the idea was that you could pair up with native speakers and learn the language. What an amazing idea. I set the article aside for a few days. Being a high school teacher had made me wary of social networking internet sites. Most of the people in the article were pretty young and “facebook” and “MySpace” savvy, which I at the time was not. I was very apprehensive about getting on some website with a bunch of people who might turn out to be predators or worse -tragically hip.
I finally got my courage up and clicked over to the website from the article. Of course you could not tour the site without signing up. It was free so I figured what was the worst that could happen. I chose a screen name. A lame one, I might add. Set a password and began to look around. Here is how it worked. On the front page of the website you use a pull down menu to choose the language you speak and the one you want to learn. After a search, the site pulls up all the native Russian speakers who want to learn English. The first face looking back at me was exactly what I feared -tragically hip 20 something. It was exciting and interesting but I was not sure exactly what I was doing. I began to look for native speakers to contact. The site allowed me to filter my search by language and age. I had no desire to work with anyone under 30. I suppose it was an arbitrary rule but I figured if I was going to contact people in another country I needed some rules for myself. Right now this was the only one I had.
I look in the right corner. A pull down menu is available to sort the list. One option is age; low to high and high to low. I choose high to low. Again one of the first members to pop up has obviously lied about her age. There is a young person in the photo but her birth date is listed as 1922. I press on and scan down. No…. nope… sketchy looking…. oh double no! Some have photos some don’t. I was beginning to rethink my criteria. I decide a photo, any photo is important. As I look at a few profiles I determine the person needs to be at least between the ages of 36-46. I want to find women first, men I was a bit suspicious, at least at first. I scroll down until I find this one face that is so compelling at first I pass. The age is right 47 but it is a man. He lives in Moscow says he is in a relationship. (There is no “married” option in the personal information section) I pass over him. No men, not yet. I scroll down and find a woman my age who is working in Ireland. Perfect. I send out a little note; “Hello, I am an American learning Russian.”I hear from her for about two weeks and then never again. I try not to take it personally because I am still not sure what I am doing or how this will help me. The next day I send out about four more short notes, still choosing carefully. But that face from the other day, “Mr. Moscow” something pulls me back to his profile. I go back and this time I study his photo. I am looking for some good reason not to send a note. I can’t find one. He has bright eyes and a great smile. He says in his profile that he wants to learn English to “develop his potentialities” Ok I’ll bite: I notice he is a beginner like me. I pull up the online translator to say hello. I send the message and wait.
It is a little silly and perhaps redundant at this point to recount with detail first emails and contact. Leonid contacted me first on March 16 and then a few weeks later I was contacted by a guy named Andrey a few weeks later. So now I was writing to someone in Moscow and now this Andrey person in someplace called Uzbekistan. While other Russian speakers have come in and out of my email inbox but these two have stuck by me for close to 2 years. And what they have had to put up with I owe them big time. That being said these two men could not be more different. I should also say that it was fully my intention to be communicating with Russian women. I explained this to my husband frequently at the beginning. “I do email women my age, they never email me back.” Later another Russian contact informs me that still Russian women do not have the kind of free time men have. I do end up with two wonderful women to correspond with but that comes later. To this day my contact list of native speakers is filled with my “boyfriends”.
What is perhaps most interesting to me and perhaps is more of reflection of me than of them. For example sarcasm does not translate well. Also I learned online translation tools in general cannot be relied upon. For the first few weeks Leonid thinks I am a man. He also thinks I am dying. In my profile on the website I wrote that it was my goal to learn Russian “before I die”. He takes this as an introduction to my sense of humor or impending mortality. As far as the gender confusion, this is the online translators fault. This is a little pop up program on the website that allows instant translation. I find it very frustrating. It never translates the phrase I want or the one I am familiar with. I feel like I am being deceitful. But at this point I don’t have much of a choice. It is clear that the English skills on the other end of the conversation need a little work so I have no choice but to rely on this piece of technology. The program assumes the masculine gender so it is not until his daughter sees the email and points out to her father that the person he is corresponding with is in fact a woman.
By this time we have established a very good rapport and friendly conversation. But it is all in English. I cannot write in Russian. I do know some phrases and want to learn more but the stupid translator is the only way I can write using Cyrillic text. I downloaded some Cyrillic fonts but these do not paste correctly into any messages I send because they are really no more than a font. Apparently there is a difference between a font and a keyboard, but what do I know. I think it took Andrey the better part of a week to explain this to me. Every time we send each other a message though the website I get a notification by email. Bouncing back and forth between email and the website is pretty time consuming. So I present my Russian friend with a proposition. What if we were to correspond directly by email? It takes a little time but eventually we decide to give it a try.
It is here that we both come to realization that the Cold War may be over but that perhaps my Internet provider has not been informed of this fact. Private email will be fast and more convenient and as it turns out there is so much more you can share over email. Photos, music, films can all be shared faster through private email. Later the most valuable files I will send will be my exercises in Russian. We begin by sending family photos. He is able to send me a few pictures of his wife and daughter and what appears to be a favorite fishing spot in Southern Russia. I am so thrilled to get these photos I immediately try to pass on some of my own. The email is bounced back as undeliverable. A few phone calls that I swear have now qualified me for and unwarranted wiretap, it is clear that in no way is my internet provider, (the one I am paying for) will let me communicated with a “.ru” domain name.
Chris is looking a little bewildered at all this. Why all the fuss to communicate with people I hardly know? I ask him if he ever had a pen pal as a child. He replies “No”, and I point out he never had a dog before either. Five years ago we adopted a wonderful Labrador retriever whom he adores…now. At the time he had every reason in the world for not taking this poor creature into our home. He reminds me these are people not pets. I know this of course but I am curious person and I did have pen pals many, many pen pals when I was younger. I want to know about the world, the whole world. And now I have the opportunity to peer into and learn about a language and a culture closed off to me until 1992. What started off as messages on a language chat board have now become full weekly conversations over skype or by phone. My husband has learned to say hello in Russian, he is very pleased with himself. Considering that most of the native speakers are programmers or some form of engineer minded individual, sometimes they actually want to speak to Chris and at least ask him about his job. It is also very quickly clear to me that some of the most important conversations I want to have with people are far off in the future because those conversations will have to take place in Russian. I have a lot of work to do, and now I have a real motivation to learn as fast as I can.
“Hey mom! Look at this one. That’s not true…to learn Russian you need REAL Russians!”
Yes it really does take real Russians. I have wonderful real Russians now and they are invaluable teachers and friends but two years ago the question is was where to find them. And if I did find them would they be interested in speaking with me.
When I returned from our schools mission trip in 2008 I came across an article in the Boston paper about learning languages online. Apparently there were websites, free websites, where the idea was that you could pair up with native speakers and learn the language. What an amazing idea. I set the article aside for a few days. Being a high school teacher had made me wary of social networking internet sites. Most of the people in the article were pretty young and “facebook” and “MySpace” savvy, which I at the time was not. I was very apprehensive about getting on some website with a bunch of people who might turn out to be predators or worse -tragically hip.
I finally got my courage up and clicked over to the website from the article. Of course you could not tour the site without signing up. It was free so I figured what was the worst that could happen. I chose a screen name. A lame one, I might add. Set a password and began to look around. Here is how it worked. On the front page of the website you use a pull down menu to choose the language you speak and the one you want to learn. After a search, the site pulls up all the native Russian speakers who want to learn English. The first face looking back at me was exactly what I feared -tragically hip 20 something. It was exciting and interesting but I was not sure exactly what I was doing. I began to look for native speakers to contact. The site allowed me to filter my search by language and age. I had no desire to work with anyone under 30. I suppose it was an arbitrary rule but I figured if I was going to contact people in another country I needed some rules for myself. Right now this was the only one I had.
I look in the right corner. A pull down menu is available to sort the list. One option is age; low to high and high to low. I choose high to low. Again one of the first members to pop up has obviously lied about her age. There is a young person in the photo but her birth date is listed as 1922. I press on and scan down. No…. nope… sketchy looking…. oh double no! Some have photos some don’t. I was beginning to rethink my criteria. I decide a photo, any photo is important. As I look at a few profiles I determine the person needs to be at least between the ages of 36-46. I want to find women first, men I was a bit suspicious, at least at first. I scroll down until I find this one face that is so compelling at first I pass. The age is right 47 but it is a man. He lives in Moscow says he is in a relationship. (There is no “married” option in the personal information section) I pass over him. No men, not yet. I scroll down and find a woman my age who is working in Ireland. Perfect. I send out a little note; “Hello, I am an American learning Russian.”I hear from her for about two weeks and then never again. I try not to take it personally because I am still not sure what I am doing or how this will help me. The next day I send out about four more short notes, still choosing carefully. But that face from the other day, “Mr. Moscow” something pulls me back to his profile. I go back and this time I study his photo. I am looking for some good reason not to send a note. I can’t find one. He has bright eyes and a great smile. He says in his profile that he wants to learn English to “develop his potentialities” Ok I’ll bite: I notice he is a beginner like me. I pull up the online translator to say hello. I send the message and wait.
It is a little silly and perhaps redundant at this point to recount with detail first emails and contact. Leonid contacted me first on March 16 and then a few weeks later I was contacted by a guy named Andrey a few weeks later. So now I was writing to someone in Moscow and now this Andrey person in someplace called Uzbekistan. While other Russian speakers have come in and out of my email inbox but these two have stuck by me for close to 2 years. And what they have had to put up with I owe them big time. That being said these two men could not be more different. I should also say that it was fully my intention to be communicating with Russian women. I explained this to my husband frequently at the beginning. “I do email women my age, they never email me back.” Later another Russian contact informs me that still Russian women do not have the kind of free time men have. I do end up with two wonderful women to correspond with but that comes later. To this day my contact list of native speakers is filled with my “boyfriends”.
What is perhaps most interesting to me and perhaps is more of reflection of me than of them. For example sarcasm does not translate well. Also I learned online translation tools in general cannot be relied upon. For the first few weeks Leonid thinks I am a man. He also thinks I am dying. In my profile on the website I wrote that it was my goal to learn Russian “before I die”. He takes this as an introduction to my sense of humor or impending mortality. As far as the gender confusion, this is the online translators fault. This is a little pop up program on the website that allows instant translation. I find it very frustrating. It never translates the phrase I want or the one I am familiar with. I feel like I am being deceitful. But at this point I don’t have much of a choice. It is clear that the English skills on the other end of the conversation need a little work so I have no choice but to rely on this piece of technology. The program assumes the masculine gender so it is not until his daughter sees the email and points out to her father that the person he is corresponding with is in fact a woman.
By this time we have established a very good rapport and friendly conversation. But it is all in English. I cannot write in Russian. I do know some phrases and want to learn more but the stupid translator is the only way I can write using Cyrillic text. I downloaded some Cyrillic fonts but these do not paste correctly into any messages I send because they are really no more than a font. Apparently there is a difference between a font and a keyboard, but what do I know. I think it took Andrey the better part of a week to explain this to me. Every time we send each other a message though the website I get a notification by email. Bouncing back and forth between email and the website is pretty time consuming. So I present my Russian friend with a proposition. What if we were to correspond directly by email? It takes a little time but eventually we decide to give it a try.
It is here that we both come to realization that the Cold War may be over but that perhaps my Internet provider has not been informed of this fact. Private email will be fast and more convenient and as it turns out there is so much more you can share over email. Photos, music, films can all be shared faster through private email. Later the most valuable files I will send will be my exercises in Russian. We begin by sending family photos. He is able to send me a few pictures of his wife and daughter and what appears to be a favorite fishing spot in Southern Russia. I am so thrilled to get these photos I immediately try to pass on some of my own. The email is bounced back as undeliverable. A few phone calls that I swear have now qualified me for and unwarranted wiretap, it is clear that in no way is my internet provider, (the one I am paying for) will let me communicated with a “.ru” domain name.
Chris is looking a little bewildered at all this. Why all the fuss to communicate with people I hardly know? I ask him if he ever had a pen pal as a child. He replies “No”, and I point out he never had a dog before either. Five years ago we adopted a wonderful Labrador retriever whom he adores…now. At the time he had every reason in the world for not taking this poor creature into our home. He reminds me these are people not pets. I know this of course but I am curious person and I did have pen pals many, many pen pals when I was younger. I want to know about the world, the whole world. And now I have the opportunity to peer into and learn about a language and a culture closed off to me until 1992. What started off as messages on a language chat board have now become full weekly conversations over skype or by phone. My husband has learned to say hello in Russian, he is very pleased with himself. Considering that most of the native speakers are programmers or some form of engineer minded individual, sometimes they actually want to speak to Chris and at least ask him about his job. It is also very quickly clear to me that some of the most important conversations I want to have with people are far off in the future because those conversations will have to take place in Russian. I have a lot of work to do, and now I have a real motivation to learn as fast as I can.
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